Politician: An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive.

Feelings of lonliness and longing tear at me; desires bombard my senses; confusion swirls in my head. Then I read a sweet word; a beautiful memory floods my realm; I find that place in me – the place that gives me the power to stay my course.

i got the keys to the new apartment last night. =) i’m very excited. additionally, i had a moment of bravado and i actively met the Japanese lady who lives next door. i asked her if i could come speak with her on occassion and she in turn suggested we setup a regular weekly meeting! that’s very exciting. i had a few extra bugs added to my list but i’m up early and ready to tackle them. =)

or rather, a man’s reaction to a woman – is very tricky. i can actually say that i have had quite a few girlfriends and had a variety of experiences with them. i have fallen victim to the ego, lust, infatuation, guilt, jealously..

those are all obviously wrong reasons to be with a girl. my old landlord told me something that i thought was very compelling – he said the most important thing in dating a woman is attraction. raw attraction. i think that is the first step for a man. i knew i was attracted to Eriko the moment i was near her. it is a very deep attraction. her appearance, her personality, her culture, her family. very attractive to me.

i had this dream that i knocked some ugly chick up. i was very grateful when i woke-up to realize it was not true. i can’t really describe the source of thanks; it comes from somewhere inside me that i don’t get access to every day. a good girl loves me. i can’t will up the emotion to support the depth of my words but i know i will feel it; it will catch me off-guard. i put this quote on my home page and it seems so true that i’m almost caught off-guard. “Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees.” wow, wow, wow. i was thinking as i walked to work that it isn’t this diary, as accepting as it is, that matters if i’m thankful. i hope, i wish, i dream, i pray – that my girl knows how grateful i am. grateful for her. oops, caught off-guard, i weep.

I went swimming for the first time since last Tuesday? I had a real difficult time then and I have to admit I have been a little apprehensive… but today went really well. I discovered that if I do what my instructor told me and get the right body position in the water then I tend to glide along the surface. I’m still very uncoordinated but if felt really good. I swam for about 50 minutes and didn’t really feel that winded. It also helped that the two other people in the slow lane actually went slow (and in some cases, I had to wait for them!) Today’s been a pretty good day. I woke up early, went to the post office to notify them of my change in address, did a load of laundry, made a nice ham/cheese/egg mush for breakfast, went swimming, went to the library, got my apartment transfer papers from Larry the landlord (and he thinks I can move in Friday!), made myself a shredded BBQ sandwich for lunch, went and saw the movie “Underworld” with David, and spent a few moments letting Bailey make swiss cheese out of my arm. I borrowed “The Men” (starring Marlon Brando, which I will probably watch this evening), Carl Sagan’s “Billons and Billons”, and a learning Japanese for children book/cassette tape. I’m currently running some tests on my program for work as I attempt to find a memory leak. My mom seems to be doing a lot better and my dad actually made some gourmet (but simple) meals, which gives me some inspiration for my own cooking aspirations. Perspiration? Respiration? Transpiration? (I admit the last one came from /usr/share/dict/words). ;P