I am as prepared as I can be at this juncture. I doubt that I drilled as much as I could have, nor as much as I should have; however, I am not going to force this on myself. I am slowly realizing my love for mathematics and if this is going to be the long-lasting relationship I desire then I need to take it slow and allow time for mathematics to love me too. I’m going to meet my buddy Art for lunch in about a half an hour. Art has been real kind to me, throwing business my way when appropriate and always believing that I can deliver him the quality of service I want too. He has a big heart. The dreams and schemes for the ultimate workstation/desk setup continue to flow in my head. I want to switch to a vertical keyboard so as to minimize the strain on my wrists. Aaron suggested that I build my own desk instead of buying one and I will indeed consider it; at the very least I will do a rough comparison of prices – I had originally intended to buy a table from Costco for around $50.

I cry – not for the soldiers or their families, but for those who are caught in a game they never asked for. Our hatred, our anger – is it real? Are we humans so scared, so weak, that we are unwilling to brave a world dominated by lovre rather than power and violence? I pity us. We seek paradise, heaven, nirvana – but we don’t have the courage to accept that it is already here.

My best score so far is 19 out of 20. Tomorrow I will begin taking the problem solving practices questions and then I can move onto the timed practice exams. gulp I heard from Eriko today. She is considering taking a class for either Japanese translation or Japanese language instruction. She thinks she will be able to find a job in the US with those skills. I’m glad to hear she thinks of coming to the US. =) Bailey is limping. She seems like she is in better spirits this evening compared with yesterday evening. That’s good.

She pranced in like a Queen – oblivious to my worrying.

Even here.

She wasn’t in the apartment when I woke up this morning, which is strange. I called for her and walked around and called for her, but I heard and saw no response. It is probably premature to be worried, but I’m worried sick regardless. She wasn’t wearing her collar and her AVID information is out-of-date. I realize those reasons are just methods by which I can blame myself for her disappearance and that is unnecessary. I’ve always told myself I’d rather she have one night of freedom than 10 years of none – for her sake. I obviously wasn’t selfishness enough! I hope she comes back soon.