i don’t think i’m prepared at all. the last two evenings i decided to cut out all my screenshot work and do the presentation live, which makes me even more scared. i haven’t slept well in a while now… i’ve had either applications dreams, work dreams, or class dreams…

i think i’m jealous. i’m jealous that my little brother doesn’t want to give me that individual attention. i think i’ve probably been jealous for a while but things like a form letter really bring it to the surface. ;P i imagine that in time i will understand and accept these feelings but the ride sure is interesting. ;P

so Zack sends out this huge form letter and my instant reaction is that I don’t even want to read it. eventually I do but I can’t help but feel like someone in the audience rather than a brother. i just find it so impersonal that it makes me feel less close afterwards. reminds me of the times when Eriko and I would talk at each other, not to each other.

i have been thrust into a situation where my team is not pushing the envelope, but instead it barely persists. i have to motivate and enable my teammates to quickly fulfill their potential without breaking them or me. i feel as if i have made significant progress with one out of three. given that i am unaware of the total magnitude of the force i must impart, significant may end up being trivial. nontheless, i am encouraged.

I submitted my application to the post office at noon – it is now out of my hands. I’ve decided that even if I am not accepted, I will enroll in one of the classes. Of course, that is my backup plan – I’m hoping they will give me a chance. My other high-priority non-work-related task is the SuSE class. I’m happy to announce that we were able to fill all 6 slots, the final slot filled by a gentleman who seemed convinced by the course outline as well as my willingness to accommodate information he was specifically interested in learning. I have a LOT of work to do between now and Wednesday. Eriko contacted me last night and said she was thinking of visiting me at the end of April. How cool!

well… i think i might be done with my application. there are definitely some areas which i am lacking content but i’m getting to the point where i’ve given it what i’ve got… and i have to start devoting my free time to my class.