My buddy Aaron offered to take me out to dinner – and I suggested Outback Steakhouse. Its certainly not the steak that I can get at home, but its not bad. We were joined by Carol, Joe, Lisa, Kaya, and David. I had a real nice time. It was interesting for me to note that I was celebrating with a bunch of people that I barely knew (actually, I didn’t know anyone of the bunch except for David) a year ago. The world is full of amazing people and I am lucky for those with which bonds are formed. Oh Eriko! One more week..

I wasn’t up late but that doesn’t stop me from being sleepy this morning. I had a good birthday. Slept in, laying awake wondering if I would hear from Eriko. Then I got up, drank some coffee, and then laid on the couch, reading a little Satre and daydreaming/thinking (usually about Eriko). Finally about eleven David woke up and we headed out to Seattle’ seafair. Nothing was happening, although we could see the Blue Angels flying about along with a C-130. I felt cool because I predicted the C-130 based on the noise as it flew over our apartment. We proceeded to pick up David’s friend who is a researcher at Fred Hutchison, and headed for a Korean restaraunt in Edmonds. The food was delicious and very filling. Upon returning to our home base, David and I watched Pitch Black – we’d both already seen it but we were too tired and full to do anything else. ;P He went to take a nap and I laid on the couch and read a little more Satre and some Calvin and Hobbes. I got a call from my parents, which was very enjoyable; then David and I met Alex and Kellie to watch American Wedding at the theatre. It was entertaining but not quite worth the price I paid. Finally, it was time for bed. And Eriko did remember.

I don’t hear much from Eriko these days. I’m surprised sometimes, especially when I recall the moments in which I was overbearing and couldn’t help talking to her. Not that she always responded, which was an obvious sign that I needed to learn to give her room. That is the learning process I go through now. I haven’t heard her voice since March but I don’t want to call her. Everytime I call her my dad asks me if she has called me yet. I don’t like to answer no. As my confidence, strength, and attention in myself grow, I am more and more comfortable with our silence. But I still lay awake at night or stay in bed in the morning, at times, struggling with her absence – and confronted with the reality of self, lonely self. Life is fun, but challenging.

I was expecting some kind of 80’s style Breakfast Club like romantic comedy. Instead, I see Audrey Hepburn’s name on the credits. I enjoyed the movie and she is a pretty dame too. The day has arrived in which the counter indicating my age will click once more to another digit. How would I rate the first 25 years of my life? A solid B. I feel as if I am a child, just learning the ways of the world, just learning what I want and what I don’t, just learning to understand myself. What is a year anyway? If there were 9,125 days to a year then I would be turning 1 year old. I imagine the next 25 years hold wonders and surprises; challenges and twists; and triumphs and rewards – I’m scared and excited.

My company decided to reduce its workforce by about 20% today. This comes about a month before we are due to finish coding up the next release. My best wishes go to those who left. Thankfully, my job is still secure, although I question whether I should have been let go. My team was definitely hit hard, losing 25%. The man whose code I’m replacing was let go and I will soon be responsible for the area that a woman was let go. I don’t know what else to say about that. I need to continue to focus on my goal of getting a good recommendation and then into graduate school. I watched Shawshank Redemption tonight. I’ve seen it before but I couldn’t remember it that well and wanted to be entertained. Entertained, I was. =) David invited me to go out with him and his friend but I chose to stay home. I went out last night and stayed out until 2. So I think I’ll play homebody tonight. Besides, I love spending time with Bailey.

My wrist hurts a little. I’ve been working too much; more than I want. If anything, it helps the time pass quickly; yet when I pause everything seems sooo slow. I am excited to go home. Excited to see my family; excited to see my girl. I have a lot of work to do. Sometimes I wonder if I will finish it; but what is the point in wondering that? I saw Dr. Kim this morning, she said the skin on my face had cleared up quite a bit. I’m pleased but I wonder if I will ever understand why I didn’t see someone like her earlier. Pride, perhaps. I’m often very convinced I can solve all the world’s problems on my own. In reality, I can barely solve my own problems. I think it is time I leave work now; I was watching a movie last night, ‘State and Main’ and I want to finish it tonight. In addition, I need to make vocabulary flash cards. English this time, for my GRE study. I wonder though, I’m not sure how motivated I am just yet. I want to get my job under control and to the point where I come in and leave in a reasonable amount of time and I think that will make my free time more productive too.