yesterday, I:
to harness all of my talents to improve my life. i currently misuse some virtues and incorrectly consider others vices. i think with sufficent effort, i can put this puzzle together…
i’ve prepared a binder full of immigration information, with 34 pages… and i don’t know if it is good enough. ;) i’ll be attempting to contact a lawyer ttomorrow…
Although my feelings are real, the causes are invented and blown out of proportion. I have such high expectations for love but I must remember that Rome was not built in a day. On those days where the loving feeling is gone, I have plenty of other things in life which can bring me cheer.
but we have become more distant since our last visit than before. i know that patience is my friend, but it is difficult when you adore affection.
Seeing Eriko after these four months of almost no communication has so far been what I feared – she is distant and I am distressed. I am torn by my desire for affection and my desire not to rush her into that affection. Last night, I couldn’t sleep and I finally woke her up and asked to kiss her – but it didn’t really make me feel much better. Who wants to ask for a kiss rather than be offerred? So I struggle. Dad told me that we would fall in and out of love. I had become accustomed to failing out of love when we weren’t around each other, but had not anticipated it during a visit. I suppose it was just a matter of time, really. What is sad is that Eriko has been making entries into her diary often, which I have never seen her do, and I feel shut out. I’m jealous of someone she is emailing quite frequently, Akie. Not really sure if it is a girl or a guy, but I’m jealous anyway. Why shouldn’t I be? She has spent more time in conversation with her journal and email then me, I think.
