Another assignment done. I’m not sure how well I did on that one, but here’s to hoping… I have a very busy day ahead of me tomorrow, all at Isilon. I really need to put in some extra hours.

I always claim I am impatient; etc. Apparently, however, there are times when I can be patient – waiting for Eriko. Luckily my plate is overflowing with work and school. So I really don’t have time to write this entry. ;p

My only wish for us is that we can learn to love each other; we can learn
to live our dreams together; that we can grow old knowing that we have
found a partner in life.

I have given it considerable thought and I won't pay your loan.

I apologize; I have led you on; it was not my intention.

I am sure it is obvious to you that I want to give you all that I have,
all that I am. As romanticly as I view the world, however, I have no
choice but to realize that it takes time for two people to grow to the
level of trust and understanding that your parents have; that my parents
have. You and I are not ready to accept and share all that we are with
each other. But I think, I hope, and I believe that we can grow to that
place. It is my wish.

It has never been my desire to rush you. Even now, I feel a strong sense
of patience and gratitude towards you. I am happy to wait for you. You
help me to find courage and inspiration within myself.

I have lived my life taking the shortcut and I have paid for it dearly. I
don't wish to drag us down the same road.

You are wise in your desire to take your time. I welcome the opportunity
to grow, learn, and love with you.

Your Nick

I told Eriko that I needed her to meet my family. I don’t know how she’ll take it, I really don’t enjoy asking her to do things. I had to be honest, however, I need to feel as if this relationship is going somewhere – and her meeting my family is the solution to that.

i can’t concentrate on work, i can’t figure out my homework

my body wants to do nothing but drink water

my mind wants to do nothing but figure you out

i’m scared; i’m alone

i don’t know if you need me or my money

i know that doubt is part of everything; i feel it now

it tears me up; it kills my motivation; it destroys my confidence

it isn’t your fault; nothing is; this is my doubt, my worry