Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

- Robert Frost

I had a tough time sleeping last night – partially because I was riled up by my conversation with Eriko and partially because I had some caffeine just 3 hours before bed. After a few trips to the bathroom and one short rest on the massage chair, I managed to fall asleep. I actually slept pretty solid, with some vivid dreams (which I cannot recall). I woke up at 7 when the alarm went off and got out of bed fairly quickly. I got dressed, drank some juice, and was out of the house by about 7:30. Eriko never stirred. At work I was feeling fairly awake and fairly energized. I got to work writing my status and working on some bugs. I had a meeting (which prevented me from attending the regular morning team meeting) and another. Before noon, however, I had made great progress on a necessary enhancement. I went home for lunch. Eriko had a meal ready and it was yummy, but we ate in silence. She did make about 40 sweet-potato cupcakes, which were also delicious. I left about 15 minutes to 1 (my usual time) and mosied down the hill. I made more good progress for the next two hours before I had yet another meeting. This meeting was less than productive and hopefully I won’t have to call one of its kind again. After that meeting I was dragged into another one, which was a little emotional (not so much for me) – but I got a free, cool, Isilon bag. I had about 30 minutes to spare and Zack and I went for coffee and talked about our weekends. We departed at an intersection; me heading back to work, him heading for Safeway (to buy soup). I had another meeting to discuss the recent recruiting event and what changes we could make. Afterwards I didn’t get very engaged at work because I was accosted by several of my teammates. At 6 I walked and talked with Scott as we headed up the hill for home. He just returned from a vacation to Hawaii. I enjoy talking to him. Eriko was making dinner when I arrived and so I retrieved a package for her from the “delivery (exercise) room. I thought dinner was quite yummy but she didn’t enjoy it too much and complained about a strange feeling in her esophagus. Soon, she was laying on her side and I was falling asleep on the couch. I started doing the dishes and she sat in the massage cushion. She told me that she suspected that she was depressed. We talked briefly about the subject. She was a little worried (about her body) and wanted to call her mom – unfortunately, her mom was not online (Skype) and the phone card we had was out of credit. So, I decided to try the SkypeOut service, which allows you to dial a phone anywhere and talk over the computer. I bought some credits and she called her mom at home. It worked great and she quickly hung up after asking her mom to setup the computer. The re-connected (this time for free) and talked for probably an hour. I went into the bedroom and worked on some Japanese homework while drinking some wine (as well as attempting to understand some of their conversation). Occasionally I came into the living room and checked the Astros/Cardinals game (on mute). After the call, I watched the last inning while doing the dishes. Eriko began going through the box of goodies from her mom and I moved to the computer for a bit to go through finances. Eriko took a shower and afterwards began reading on the couch. I searched for low fares (finding none) and coordinated with Zack to purchase one. This took much longer than it should have, as the interface is a bit unwieldy and once you move to far in the process you have to start over and re-enter the information. In addition, a flight I clicked on “purchase” became suddenly unavailable (at that price) and I had to go through the tedious process once again. Eventually, I purchased decent (but not great) tickets for the 3 of us for the holidays. Finally, I could take a shower. Afterwards I hopped back on the computer and Eriko continued to read her magazine, which she seemed to enjoy.

I woke up late this morning. I think I slept pretty well, although I had some vivid dreams (which I don’t quite recall). I was sluggish and still really stuffed from the night before. Eriko actually got out of bed before I did, but I followed suit quickly. She wasn’t feeling great but she was hungry. I was stuffed and just drank some juice. I spent some time watching TV – NBC’s meet the press and some discovery channel show about using alternative fuels. Eriko like the discovery show because it featured a man and a dog on a bike travelling through several states without using gasoline (mainly electric power obtained from garbage-burning plants). Eventually I flipped to a figure-skating championship and there the channel remaining (a young lady I was with was quite interested) for an hour or so. During that time, I ventured onto the computer as well as to the bedroom desk to do some Japanese studying. After the skating, Eriko began to look pretty cosy and the living room light went off. I spent some time listening to music and reading my Japanese textbook in the bedroom while she slept. After she awoke, I moved to the den and turned on the TV for the Astros/Cardinals game. I made myself a poor lunch (ground beef and cheese) and gave Eriko a head massage. I spent some more time reading the Japanese book while she cooked herself lunch (ramen) and ate it (with a table as a high chair, for ease). After some more rest time, she announced that she was ready to head to the drum store. Off we went; there were some leaves stuck to the car wiper that we had fun encouraging (me to leave, Eriko to stay). We spent about 45 minutes at the drum store. I enjoyed myself, beating on all sorts of different things. It was a rhythm store, so there were a few instruments besides drums, but mainly drums. We came in search of a set of bongo drums and we left with a set of bongo drums. A little expensive, but this was the one thing that Eriko mentioned might help cheer her up. We stopped at Safeway on the way home because I wanted some ice cream but to my dismay they were all sold out of mint chocolate chip. Safeway had held another Breyer’s 2 for 1 sale and mint chocolate chip always sells out quick. We did buy a few things – apples, batteries, and some candy. Back at home, I continued watching TV (now Angels/White Sox) and Eriko tried out the neck massager (which we had needed batteries for). Soon she decided she was hungry and I suggested a pizza from Pete’s; after a few minutes of deliberation that was her final decision. I ordered take-out, waited around (reading Japanese and watching the game) and headed off to pick up the pizza. I had a minor wait (during which I watched the game) and then it was back home. Dinner was going well (Eriko was starting to feel better) when she announced that she didn’t like morning sickness and thought that one child would be enough. I suspect she knew what buttons she was pushing but I tried to stay calm. When she began to argue that the reason why we should only have one child was due to population control, I couldn’t help but begin a discussion which would end up in her telling me that humanity was doomed and me becoming quite frustrated. Of course, I sense a lot of my past debating fever in her, especially since she had a smile on her face while I became annoyed at her assumptions and lack of proof (besides, what I will admit, is strong anecdotal evidence). In recent years, I have calmed down a bit and begun to require much stronger evidence in order for me to actually consider a position – I am happy to engage in a thought exercise (where there is no conclusive evidence either way) but I reject opinions masqueraded as evidence. The conversation ended abruptly with me (I would guess, visibly) agitated and her calm but quiet. Perhaps she is preparing me for discussions that I will have with my child(ren, depending on her thought process) in which their passion carries them, with little or no regard to logic. I am certainly one who has debated many a time with only passion to back my arguments. The night cooled off after that – Eriko moved to the computer and I took a little nap; Eriko moved to the massage chair and I resumed watching the game; I moved to the computer and Eriko began writing her friend a hand-written letter. After some time (four pages for Eriko) we started watching a documentary about the forensic re-creation of the Kennedy assassination. Interesting stuff. The cool mood continued, however, as very little words were exchanged. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.

I woke up before 8. did a little bit on the computer, but not too much. Instead, I read my FreeBSD book and sat on the massage cushion, so as not to disturb Eriko, who was still sleeping. Eriko woke up about 8:30. I went to TJ’s to get some milk and bacon (all the milk was gone with Eriko’s chocolate milk.) I made omelettes (bacon, cheese, two egg). I threw out a bunch of food in the fridge cause it went bad – with was lame. I hate wasting food. I spent some time on the computer. Eriko practiced her rhythm by drumming (with drumsticks) on a piece of wood set on the coffee table. I took a nap (accidentally) in the massage chair (while Eriko napped on the couch). Turn on the TV and watched I started watching the Astros/Cardinals game and Eriko joined me. Eriko made herself some lunch; I snacked. At some point, Eriko started to get bored and I suggested that we goto the drum store to look for a bongo drum. She was interested but not motivated enough to get ready, so we didn’t go anywhere. I did the dishes. The TV remained on, and the White Sox/Angels game started. Zack called (in response to my SMS & voicemail); he would be over soon. Indeed, after his quick hour-long shower, he arrived to pick us up. The three of us headed for a steak dinner at Outback. It was nice. We ordered too much and ate too much, as usual. We got sick of french fries after the appetizer and had to change our sides (we all ordered fries as sides, but ended up with two veggies and a potato). Zack was a little weak-spirited; the exciting events of the night before had taken some out of him. He did buy us dinner (and in doing so, improved his credit at Nick’s Credit Union). Back at home, Zack joined us for about 30 minutes – trying out the massage cushion, trying out the couch, testing out the cellphone reception… soon he was headed off for another night of activity. Eriko and I watched a little of a movie, but mainly spent time on the couch talking and enjoying each other. I eventually turned off the movie. Eriko showered, I used the computer, we traded places, and then it was time for bed.

Not surprisingly, I had trouble sleeping again. During the night I wokeup and told Eriko that I needed some conversation. Note that we didn’t have a conversation about that. I woke up a little late, but not too bad. Eriko was up too. I had toast and juice for breakfast; I just didn’t have an appetite. I was at work by 8 but today would not turn out to be very productive. I just didn’t focus very well. No particular one item was to blame for my distraction; it was just one of those days. Zack ran the Shiki train and I went home for lunch. I arrived a little earlyu and startled Eriko. Lunch was nice; Eriko was in a good mood and I was glad. Afterwards, I had coffee with Zack and we talked about… women. It is so very nice to bond again with my brother after all these years. He has recently given me some advice about Eriko, which I have followed - such as inquiring about what she would like and making an effort to plan activities together. We have a symphony and a Disney on Ice show scheduled now. The afternoon was more of the morning - a strange, busy, but unproductive time. I went home early and arrived a little after 5. Eriko was cooking, but much more quiet than at lunch. After dinner, she felt strange and wasn’t in the mood to talk. I watched baseball and she used the computer and the massage cushion. She joined me on the couch, but wasn’t interested in conversation or attention. Soon she moved to the bedroom and played the piano. I started using the computer and continued watching the game. Towards the late evening, she surprised me by emerging from the bedroom in a relatively good mood. We enjoyed some pleasant time together before going to bed.

I had trouble waking up again (because I had trouble sleeping again). It is difficult when there is no escape. ;) I was disappointed to find out the bacon had gone rancid, so I had a small breakfast. Eriko didn’t wake up before I left, so I couldn’t say goodbye. I was at work by 8 and had a hectic morning. I had to prepare status for my team, spend some time with the new guy, and have a meeting or two. I came home for lunch and the meal was good, but we sat in silence. Back at work, I had another few meetings and worked on an issue or two. I got home at the usual time; Eriko made dinner, but she didn’t eat anything. She laid down on the couch quickly after I had finished, not feeling so well. I watched the baseball game and used the computer. I was interrupted by a phone call from my co-worker and we vented about some things happening at work for about 30 minutes. Afterwards, I resumed my previous activities; there was uncomfortable silence between Eriko and I. Eventually, she went to bed. The first time I checked on her, she seemed fine, but the second time she was crying. She shook off my comfort and I gave her a stern speech about going through rough times together instead of alone. I reminded her that I couldn’t understand if she couldn’t (or wouldn’t) communicate. Eventually, I went to bed a hour later.