Eriko is working on a play with some d00d and I keep hearing his name. The bastard! I realized last night, however, that I have nothing to worry about. He cannot provide for her as I can; it will be quite common for either of us to have crushes as time goes on. What matters most is that we are loyal and honest – and I have nothing to worry about as long as I do my part. Words and thoughts do not necessarily eliminate feelings but they can have an affect.

I updated several sections of my website tonight and I couldn’t help but be brought to tears as I thought of how to describe my family. I realized that as I grow older I only appreciate them more. Why the update? I was adding a page (“trends”) describing my sleeping patterns and tracking my weight and I got to poking around. Katrina is also visiting me and I must admit that she continues to impress me. I hope that she and dad can find a way to overcome their fears and get to know each other as they have always wanted.

Eriko mailed me the script from her play – it is overwhelming in its content. So much so that I don’t even know where to start – I will ask the Japanese lady in my building to help me; I’m hoping she will agree. Unfortunately I don’t remember her name and that definitely feeds my procrastination… As I analyze this I realize I have to move on it if I’m going to get anywhere. Katrina is coming on Sunday and I leave in two weeks.

a little down, lonely, frustrated, lost…

i managed to wake up early and go swimming in the morning. i feel a little tired now but no more tired than i normally do – and i have this feeling of pride somewhere. the trick is not to put any pressure on myself… just let it happen, if it wishes.. ;P

I have been asked by my friend Art and the users group he belongs to, PSNUG, to present a seminar on SUSE Linux. It will be a professional seminar, as the attendees will pay and I will be paid a salary. Our target date is for the last Wednesday in January. I will have to get approval from Isilon to take that day off (although hopefully I can switch it with Saturday). Anyway, this will be a very interesting experience and I am looking forward to it. I think I will invest in a cheap upgrade for my computer; I need to develop a professional syllabus. On a different note, I was able to wake up at about 5:30 this morning – and early wake up for the third consecutive day. I did take about an hour nap today but that may have been motivated more by boredom than being tired. I’m starting to feel more and more determined and more confident in the choices I am making. Bailey is cute and sweet as can be lately. ;P