Eriko called me at 2:30 pm to tell me that the her water had broken and I was off and running. Zack drove me home, I put all our hospital things into the car, and off Eriko and I went. Her contractions were still about 20 minutes apart, so the nurse at the hospital didn’t think it was time. After about an hour of waiting, we were told to go home. We stopped off at the midwife where she told me that she thinks Eriko’s water has sprung a leak and so she wanted to make sure the baby was OK. She thinks that delivery will occur today. Right now, Eriko’s contractions are about 6 minutes apart, although I don’t know if that is constant or just occassional. She woke up to call the midwife about 2:30 and I haven’t been able to get back to sleep since. Ah, sleepless in Seattle. ;)

Blossoms and Eriko.

I have noticed recently in many random conversations that I am impatient to push my ideas, rather than to truly listen. Is that I am afraid of what I might hear, arrogance, or simply a bad habit?

The conversation didn’t start like that, but that is probably the question that resonates within my mind. I was in the garage, with a feeble attempt to start the MG. I had poured some fuel stabilizer and carb cleaner into the gas tank, charged the battery, and sprayed ethanol into the carb air intake. It turned over and ran for a second, but no more. My neighbor, an older well-kept woman (in her 50s, perhaps), spoke to me briefly about the car. I don’t remember the exact conversation but she expressed the idea that I was holding onto this car for no practical value. “I think its maturity”, she said. “We all have things we hold onto like that.” Of course, I rationalize keeping the MG – it doesn’t cost me much, in terms of visible dollars (although the hidden cost of the weather on the Miata or Jetta is probably real.) I think I keep it because I’m not willing to accept that I am a failure as an auto mechanic. I know that I haven’t really tried. When I was driving the MG on a daily basis (back in `00), I did minimal maintenance. I didn’t work on the car for the sake of working on the car, I did it so it could get me from point A to B. I didn’t love the car or the task. My current attempts to start the MG are tiny touches of love. Love of the dream, of the idea, of the goal, that I can work on a car. That I can take a car that needs regular maintenance and make it work. The Miata and Jetta have been gifts to me – they both have required very little. The MG is a simple vehicle, without computers, that I have the ability to work with. I still lack the motivation, however.