early Sunday morning

i finally called Eriko on the phone, and that was good. i’m not sure why it is so difficult for me – part of it is waking up at 4:30, walking to work in the cold, and straining to hear across a poor connection. another aspect is that i have to come out of my ‘I-first’ view of the world. soon, it won’t just be me, it will be us. afraid of losing control, i am. the irony, of course, is that i’ve never had control.

i should call more often.