rather than ponder

I will write. I am wondering about Eriko; but more in particular, I am wondering about me. Sometimes I wonder if I just have a Japanese fetish – surely I have this image in my mind, built up through years of curiosity and mystique. What would possess me to ask a woman to marry me when we hardly know each other? Because I am in love with an image and a picture it was very easy to slide that mold around her. But I don’t know who she is, I don’t know what she is capable of. She knows nothing of me either. Yet she accepted my offer as willingly as I offered it; is she in love with an image for me too? Are we simply dolls in each oother’s minds? I’m grateful for these thoughts and feelings, even if they are distracting – I will know myself, come hell or high-water.