Recently in Jerry Category
- Back scratch
- Foot rub
- Booty scratch
- Under-the-arm scratch
- Leg scratch
- Foot scratch
- Side scratch
- Nipple scratch
- Head scratch
- Chin scratch
- Ear scratch
- Shoulder scratch
- Neck scratch
- Chest scratch
- Arm scratch
- Elbow scratch
- In-between-the-toes scratch
Being the calm, sensible mother, she suggests that Jerry was just shy.
That certainly does take some of the worry away. :)
I have to admit, I had high expectations. Jerry had been singing the "Jack-O-Lattern" song as we played together over the weekend - and I knew how much he enjoyed the ending (Boo!)
Eriko and I showed up just on time (3:45), sat in our little chairs, and waited for the children to come out. The first four filed out one after another and sat in their places.
Then came Jerry. He sauntered in, tried to give me a hug, and eventually (after some coaxing by the teachers) sat near the others - but immediately it was obvious that his body language was quite different. To be fair, he did yawn - so he may be tired - but all of the other children are engaged, focused on the teacher, participating. Jerry is none of these things.
This is a video of the first song.
He almost takes pleasure in his lack of participation, giving smug looks and smiles whenever he is actively doing something different. The teachers have to constantly remind him (between songs) to stand up, or take the prop, etc. During one song (about pumpkin and witches, where they countdown from 5 pumpkins to 0) he was anticipating each number ahead of where the song was - so he knew what was going on.
I have to admit, I was disappointed and am now a bit shell-shocked. Jerry was so different from the other kids and not because he was trying his hardest and couldn't get it. Because it looked like he wasn't trying at all!
Not to mention that after the class ended, he immediately ran outside the building and challenged me to chase him (which I didn't.) Apparently he does this every time with Eriko.
Have we spoiled the hell out of him or is this just his natural personality?
I love him like no other, so I don't want to be disappointed or expect him to be like everyone else. I know he is a bright boy - but I worry that the "system" will ultimately reject and not reward someone who is too far out of place - only making his path more difficult than it needs to be.
Last night was tough. Not only was Eriko completely drained by the time I arrived home, which thankfully, was earlier than usual, but Jerry had a poor night sleeping.
He woke up once, was upset, couldn't talk about it, and it eventually escalated to me removing him from the bedroom. This turned into a full blown tantrum, kicking, screaming, hitting, throwing, spitting... you name it. I sat on the couch and was minimally engaged - I would put him back on the floor if he ran over and tried to hit me and I talked to him - I kept explaining that he needed to talk about what he wanted.
Eventually, he exhausted himself and with arms open, said he wanted to talk. I picked up, he asked to go back to bed and agreed to be quiet, and away we went. It took some time for him to fall asleep, with lots of whimpering, feet rubbing, and back scratching. Eriko had trouble sleeping during this time and left the bedroom briefly.
Eventually, Jerry woke up again - and again, he was unable to articulate why he was upset or awake and it escalated to me removing him from the bedroom. The tantrum was even more severe this time, with objects around the living room being thrown. I was more agitated as well, telling him that he was "not a baby and he needed to talk." Eventually, I felt that the tantrum could be dangerous to him (as he was close to the corner of the coffee table) and I restrained him on the floor. He started telling me he was a "baby" (at least he was talking) and Eriko came out of the bedroom. Once Jerry spoke, he was clearly in command of himself again and he and I went back into the bedroom.
During this tantrum he accidentally pulled of one of his gloves (to help prevent night-time scratching) and it took a while for him to articulate that this was the problem. He did, eventually, without further escalations and we finally managed to go to sleep.
I think he woke up one more time for additional rubbing, but was able to articulate that.
I don't necessarily have better ideas for helping to learn to cope - I just hope neither Eriko nor I am causing too much long-term harm to Jerry...