Here I am in the bathroom on my blackberry. I've just finished writing seven emails, some of which were long, most of which may cause consternation - but all of which had me so excited that I couldn't sleep.
I didn't realize how invigorating the ownership of the development group would be. I think this goes along with my "decision" about my next move - I find it very difficult to focus on today if I don't know about tomorrow. I've got focus - I don't need to worry about when I'm going to learn Japanese or how I will figure out what to research - I know when I'll tackle those problems and several years to develop my approach.
In addition, since I no longer am responsible for our offshore group I can have a regular schedule - I'm not there yet (duh, up at 2 AM) but I can imagine doing this for several years - I can even imagine fitting a workout routine into the mix. With regularity comes the ability to have a late work night on occasion (and a day off too.) With the Xmas vacation coming up, I can spend the next 3 weeks driving hard towards getting the organization moving how I need it to be.
Eriko is in high spirits, which means that Jerry is in high spirits - Jerry is sleeping better (and we're more patient/stubborn about bouncing or feeding, which forces him to compromise and cope) and he's such a great communicator and playmate that he is a joy to be around. He forces me to engage, so I don't have to worry about doing enough with him per-se, I just need to make sure we're together as much as possible. Eriko is just amazing - she's accepting (and taking to) her duty as mother and caretaker of the house - Jerry at day-care 9 hrs a week gives her just the right amount of space, she's removed herself from the politics of chorus, has a solid network of friends, and is excited about teaching music (her dream when we met.)
This isn't a perfect or rosy future - I have huge challenges ahead and I'm going to need to be diligent on all fronts, but I'm surprised by just how excited I am. If only I could find a way to sleep...