I spoke with two professors yesterday and I was relatively convinced that I was going
to transition to academia... but then I came in and talked it over with my boss.
After that conversation, I had an epiphany... this situation is very similar to the
time I broke up with Eriko, slept on it, and woke up to realize that no - I didn't
want to break up... I just needed to be patient, figure out a way to get through our
troubles, and learn to love her - because it was what I wanted.
I think this lust for academia is much the same thing. Since I was a boy, I've always
wanted to be in industry. School was just a process to me - I've never devoted much
time to it, I've never held it in high regards. So my desire for academia is a desire
for progress, challenge, respect, etc. - but I can have those things here - I'm
already well on the way to those things.
Maybe a PhD isn't out of reach for me - and I know I already "decided" this - but now
just isn't the time.