i'm still a little confused, but mostly fascinated. since it is very fresh in
my memory what real hunger feels like, i can tell the difference between when
i'm naturally hungry and when i'm craving foods. and i crave much more often
than i'm genuinely hungry! yesterday i gave in a few times but i hope to find
the willpower to keep that to a minimum.
September 2004 Archives
since my fast, i have been consuming far less food. the strange thing is that
i don't feel that hungry (except before i eat) and i don't feel any loss of
energy. in fact, i think i feel much more energetic. the important thing is
that i continue to refine my diet and eat healthy and that i stick with it.
after fasting, i'm much more attuned to when my body is hungry and when i'm
just bored. plus, the idea of having a cleaner system has me more interested
in going all the way and combining exercise with proper diet. who knows, i
might have a healthy body one of these days... ;)
i was relaxing last night when i received a phone call from Alex asking me
where i was and that they were at "Hootie's." at first was confused, then
realized that it was Tony's bachelor party and i had completely forgot. i was
convinced it was the day before the wedding. after cursing at myself a bit, i
put on some decent clothes and drove to Hooter's. in restrospect, i didn't have
to eat anything at all. the guys were pretty focused on the beer and the
waittresses. however, at the time i was shy about explaining what i was doing
and looking so odd that i ordered a small bowl of clam chowder. ignoring that,
i didn't have anything else to eat or drink (besides water) so i'm happy with
myself. the night was a little long though. Hooter's took a while; then we
went to Gameworks, which was fun; then it was to some bar where girls danced
on the counter and they had a mechanical bull. the place was so noisy, crowded
and smokey, that i was ready to go after about two minutes. i've become an old
fuddy duddy, but i don't mind. ;P
after almost 48 hours of just water, i've become to break my fast. i had some
vitamin enhanced water and i'll start drinking some vegetable/fruit juice.
i'll probably eat some fruit tomorrow afternoon or evening. all the information
i found on the internet said i shouldn't break it so abruptly, so i'm trying
the gradual approach.
You have handled your responsibilities competently.
Life brings you a bold and dashing adventure.
Your first choice is always wisest to follow.
You will have an exciting addition to your life by being the warm person you are.
Whether you choose love or fame, you'll be able to handle both.
You will be fortunate in the opportunities presented to you.
Now I can throw them away. ;P
i've decided that this weekend is the perfect opportunity to fast. i won't eat again until Monday's breakfast. of course, i'm already starting to think about when i will get up and what i will eat.
that certainly isn't enjoying the moment, but perhaps fasting is only enjoyed when its complete. i'm most apprehensive about today, because i have to work and interact. the weekend should be much
easier in that regard, but the physical effects will be more trying. i'm on a water only fast.
i'm pretty shy around people i don't know, and i'm especially nervous about
going to functions where there is going to be mingling. so i almost backed out
of going to an optional PMP event this evening but i stuck to my guns and
went. now i'm feeling satisified and a little more experienced.
9 hits in the last two games.. he can do it.. he has definitely helped remind
me how much i enjoy following baseball.
with Eriko's physical presence less than a year away, i have to admit that i feel pretty
comfortable. when i think about our upcoming marriage and life together, i'm nervous as can be.
however, when i look at where i am right now, i feel real good. i really enjoy my condo, i'm
enjoying my job more and more every day. i'm slowly starting to transition back into a learning
mode. slowly reading more, slowing studying more, including some topics i'm real interested in
such as mathematics and japanese. i'm slowly starting to cook more and take care of my body.
it is definitely slow but happily steady progress. so, despite my natural fear of change, i know
that Eriko and I will be real comfortable too.
it was this site.
this site ultimately gave me the help i needed.
finally! i am writing this message using the laptop via wireless link! in the
end i am using a netgear MA521 which is only a 802.11b and relies on a
partially closed source driver, confining me to kernel version 2.4.20.
however, i'm just so pleased that i will be prepared for class. i think i
will keep the 802.11g card which i cannot get working ($40 value) and i can
keep playing with it in my spare time. now to install X via high speed
connection. =)
i have spent almost the entire day trying to get wireless networking up on
my laptop. first i bought two different wireless devices and two routers from
Fred Meyer but was unable to get either to work after several hours. then i
drove to a little computer shop far away to get two more wireless adapters and
an ethernet adapter (this serial upload link is driving me crazy). i'm really
hoping i can get this stuff to work because it will save me money in the
long run. i guess i couldn't really think of a better way to spend this rainy
day. ;P
work is keeping me busy, but in the evenings i've been watching the mariners
quite often. i enjoy watching baseball but i guess i'm really just taking a
break from the things i need to do. i bought a few japanese study materials
but haven't had the motivation. i did check out the Godfather from the library
on Saturday and have made real good progress; i think i'll finish it tonight.
i still have been unable to get the wireless card working on my laptop and
i'm starting to consider a backup plan (purchase a new card or a new laptop).
Eriko has confirmed her plane tickets to visit Anchorage this winter. it will
be a nice long trip, about a week -- 22nd - 30th. at that time we'll work together to put the finishing touches on the fiance visa application and she'll be
able to see a Kirsch Christmas. X)
i spent a great number of hours this weekend trying to get a wireless PCMCIA card working. i was reading docs, googling, recompiling kernels, modifying source code... but to no avail. as a
last ditch effort i installed Windows (since the card has supported drivers for Windows) but even this didn't work. i'll take the laptop & card to work tomorrow and see if i can get it
going on that wireless network. if so, then there is simply too much wireless interference from my neighbors. if i can coerce one of my co-workers to try it and it works, then i can only conclude that my laptop is too slow to handle it. if nothing works then i will print out the amazon return slip and put it in the mailbox. i'm hoping it either works in my laptop at work or not at all. i need a working wireless connection for my AI class, which starts in about two weeks...
my co-worker just came and asked me for some Japanese phrases and dos and donts
as he meets with some Japanese business men from our Japanese partner in
Tokyo. i want to know more. i want to be able to be the guy who greets these
people and speaks to them fluently.
i spent many hours at work today but the last two were the best, because i called Eriko. X)
i tasted the most disgusting egg this morning, prompting me to throw both of
the freshly prepared eggs away. i'll try and scramble them tomorrow and see
if they taste better. they don't seem to have spoiled the sourdough pancakes...
this the first time i'm eating 'Omega 3' eggs (or any) from Trader Joe's.
Dad: http://monte.kirsch.org/journal/rss.php
Mom: http://kathy.kirsch.org/journal/rss.php
Matthew: http://matthew.footefamily.net/journal/rss.php
Katrina: http://katrina.kirsch.org/journal/rss.php
Me: http://nick.org/journal/rss.php
Yes, I admit, I'm generating extraneous journal entries so I can test little
tweaks I'm making to the r2e software. i love open-source. =)
realizing i wasn't that tired, i decided to get RSS/RDF working for the family
journals. i found this sweet open-source command-line rss2email program and this nifty php rss example and now all the family journals are accessible via the RSS/RDF feed. except for Zack, who continues to
use a manual journal. he hasn't updated it in months anyway, so... the cool thing about this diary post is that the crontab will fire off the r2e software and i'll get an email with this entry. ;P
a racoon has found Bailey's entrance. so i cannot leave the window open all the
time. she's going to have to learn to wait until i'm around to let her in
and out.
I think this website is a good guide for me to follow to get the fiancee visa started. I just hope I haven't worried Eriko too much.
it is quite confusing. there are a variety of different options we could do, but the one which seems the least risky and provides the most comfortable experiences is for Eriko and I to
be legally married next August. i'll have to apply for the fiance visa early next year and she'll use it to enter the country after our honeymoon, which will follow our symbolic ceremony in Nagoya. if that is what we do, i hope it works out perfectly.
i finally reached my lowest weight on record again -- 137 lbs. i did that partially by cutting my food intake in the evenings when i'm not so hungry but i think i should really step up the exercise to maximize any gains. i'm going to spewak with a lawyer about immigration today. i'm going to look into a fiance visa unless it could impact Eriko's tourist visa.