December 2003 Archives

this year saw many exciting events for me:

• i saw Eriko three times


• Eriko met my family and the love was mutual


• i took a course at UW and received an A


• i was promoted twice and now i'm a dev-lead


• i am living on my own for the first time in my life


• i took swimming lessons


• Bailey is able to come and go freely again


• I became an Uncle

• i was denied admission to the UW master's program


• i failed to increase my GRE math scores (they went down)


• Eriko and i had some rocky times


• i was unable to communicate in Japanese with Eriko's family

• i will be leading a team that (hopefully) will grow by 2+ people


• i will apply to UW with improved stats (and hopefully accepted)


• i will (hopefully) begin exercising regularly and get in shape


• Eriko will (hopefully) visit me in my new place


• i will (hopefully) aggressively improve my Japanese skills


• i will (hopefully) find and purchase a condominium of my own


• i will (hopefully) continue to apply downward pressure on my expenses


• i will (hopefully) find more time to work on my lathing and computer projects


• i will (hopefully) find more pleasure in reading and learning

i don't know what i've done but Bailey has spent the last two nights sleeping
with me -- the whole night! last night was a bit painful as she kept stabbing
me in the throat with her claws (when i say 'sleeping' with me, that also
includes time she sits on my chest and cleans herself). ;P

there is no way this movie deserves to be ranked number 3 on the imdb top 250 movie list. it had some really neat battle scenes and i enjoyed them. but the ending was soooo boring and there were a lot of transitions that weren't all that exciting either. i'd probably rank it an 8 or something. alex bought the movie for me otherwise i might rank
it lower.... ;P

one of my most elaborate breakfasts yet: hash browns, eggs with ham & cheese, pancakes, and bacon. maybe i'll take a nap now...

i had a great time visiting my family. it is pretty amazing to see everyone progressing and growing; yet as we grow older we grow closer at the same time. now i'm back to the ordinary routine... being busy!

my christmas shopping is finished. the presents are wrapped and under the
tree. i'm going to bed.

i haven't figured out how i feel about being an Uncle. Melissa says I'm scared of Matthew -- and I definitely do feel an element of fear: that I will corrupt or break or somehow harm this miracle. I suppose the event is also making me
think of when I will be a daddy and I feel an enormous amount of pressure as I
realize all the many things I haven't accomplished and want to. at the same
time i know that my head can produce a lot of "fluff" and i have no choice
but to believe that i will be ready for whatever comes my way. this is a very
humbling feeling.

in other news, Melissa gave birth to my nephew, Matthew Killian Foote, sometime
yesterday afternoon. i have yet to met the little guy but i should have an
opportunity in a couple hours. until then i am going to relax in this warm
home -- free from obligation. =)

i had refraind to mention this to you, diary, because i wanted to surprise my
folks. but my mom is too clever and deduced it anyway. Isilon accepted my
offer to be team lead. this is going to be a very exciting and challenging time;
my previous experience as a lead was in a company where i was considered the
technology guru. this is definitely not the case at Isilon and i have a great
many things to learn.

i have been deliberately avoiding my diary as i have some secrets to tell... ;P

i'm so busy!

can sometimes be an opportunity -- the trick is having enough faith to carry it through. (this quote provided by the writers of the 'everwood' show on the WB)

i am looking ahead and i see a large hill before me. i am scared and weak but determined. for now, however, i will camp at its base and reflect on the path travelled so far.

my visit was too soon. but it went so well. Eriko's family was kind and generous to me in a way that was definitely different. Dad said that things would change once she met my family and i could see that in their behavior towards me. Eriko and I had a great time together. there were a couple of moments when i needed space or she needed space (not many) and i my current theory is that we are both the strong, silent type. so when i need space i just leave or ignore her and she does the same -- as i understand that about myself i come to appreciate it in her. i felt as if i was doing lots of appreciating on this trip. my Japanese was horrible and i am very embarrassed. i am very much humbled at the efforts Eriko and her family put in to communicate with me. her friends as well. and i don't want them to have to put in so much work. somewhere inside, motiviation is building.

I had many unfounded concerns and paranoid fears when I arrived but
somewhere inside I have begun to see things with vision that is clear and
healthy. I think Eriko and I are very much in the same place and I realize
this more and more as I learn to listen to my heart and not my head.
Additionally, I realize more and more that I am not using my head to its
full capabilties.

jaa mata ne; nihon ni ikuyo!

i will be too busy to think about Eriko! =) the SuSE class is still on for the last Wednesday in January and i will be applying at UW in time for the Feb 1 deadline. so i am imagining myself very busy (i want to work out in the morning and study Japanese too)

my boss has decided to leave the company. bi immediately offered to take over as lead of my team. after conversations with the big honcho, i think i have a fair shot. it will definitely be a challenge -- but i can recall a good experience at InsynQ and i have the hope that i can build on that to make a better experience here at Isilon.

i am very much looking forward to my vacation... Aaron will care for Bailey and
Kaya will care for Oscar. i leave work on solid footing with no real
craziness hanging over my head. this year has been terrific -- full and exciting; filled with its share of ups and downs. i've started to climb on the bike.

i had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. i am apprehensive about my trip. my mind is playing rational games: dreaming up dreadful scenarios and cool solutions. but even if i could switch off my CPU, i'm not sure it would alleviate my fears. the only thing that can will be experience. so i wait, scared and hopeful.