one hundred days to go...

It is amazing.

I never thought I would be here, both in the sense that I never thought I would face separation and its presumed grief – but now, having reached it, I never thought I would realize that beyond grief was something so much greater.

I have come to realize that in the battle of unrequited love, the indefatigable shield of disinterest cannot be overcome, and yet my weapons of affection, compassion, and sacrifice continue to fire, never ceasing.

Where does this endless supply of ammunition come from?

Me.

Pieces of myself have been used to fuel this fight for over 20 years.

Only now do I realize the cost of this unwinnable war: myself.

BUT — the end is in sight!

A mere 100 days remain before I reclaim my sanctuary, my peace, my true sense of belonging and comfort: myself.

I once feared the days would go by too fast.

Now I know they go by much too slowly.