… until the biggest change in my life … since the last biggest change in my life.

I gotta be honest, I’m getting nervous - I can’t imagine life past September 4th right now.

I AM GETTING A PUPPY!!!

Potty training?

Taking the puppy to work everyday?

Behavior training?

I’m so excited to finally have a dog and yet I’m worried about how much of my life will be disrupted.

Momo will help… but how much?

Turned 48 today.

Did I have fun? You know, I did.

The day itself was nothing fancy, and that was the gift. Coffee with an old friend in the morning. Work - a purpose, where I’m respected and challenged. A scooter ride on a gorgeous day to a treat myself to a burger and beer. Taekwondo in the evening. Dinner and walk with the kids to close it out.

There’s a line from Flaubert I keep coming back to:

Lulu & Theodore’s puppies arrived on Monday, July 13 — two boys and four girls, all happy and healthy.

Heard from the breeder today — the puppies are on their way.

a truly strange concept
one i can never claim to understand
it sweeps away at one’s soul
leaving it naked and unprotected

then it comes with the void
filling and renewing mysteriously
the depth of it’s intimacy can be painful
for it’s touch is uncomfortable

without it one is strong
vulnerable and exposed to nothing
but for two people to share a real truth
is just a risk i am willing to take

this was written > 27 years ago

There are moments when my heart is just bursting at the seams, driving my mind wild with visions towards my desire.

If I can move, I do. I head down the path, ideally without haste, but with speed.

Sometimes the path is not clear.

Sometimes an unclear path makes me question the vision, and my heart loses steam.

Sometimes an unclear path reinforces the vision, and my heart races harder.