nick.org

Well, today was probably the opposite of most days -- because I relaxed! Work
is really keeping me busy, and my ambitious nature causes me to take on more
than I probably should. I'm really struggling with how to expand my
responsibilities but not overcommit. I have a very poor personal anecdote --
I've been trying to read more books, but I went overboard. I have over 20
books checked out, and I'm clearly not going to finish all. In fact, I'm
probably only going to finish one book. This clearly was an example of me
being overambitious, overcommitting, and under-delivering. This is not the
trend I am looking for.

Jealously is knocking on my door -- I'm not feeling it very strong but I can sense it... some of my co-workers are doing well in different areas than me, which causes me to feel envious. With Jerry's impending arrival, I know that Eriko will have less time for me as well and I will likely feel jealous. Knowing these emotions are there and knowing how to deal with them are two different things. These quotes touched me:

He that is not jealous is not in love. - St. Augustine

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them. - Jennifer James

Envy is a littleness of soul, which cannot see beyond a certain point, and if it does not occupy the whole space feels itself excluded. - William Hazlitt

Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own. - Harold Coffin

Enough introspection.