The conversation didn't start like that, but that is probably the question that
resonates within my mind. I was in the garage, with a feeble attempt to start
the MG. I had poured some fuel stabilizer and carb cleaner into the gas tank,
charged the battery, and sprayed ethanol into the carb air intake. It turned
over and ran for a second, but no more. My neighbor, an older well-kept woman
(in her 50s, perhaps), spoke to me briefly about the car. I don't remember the
exact conversation but she expressed the idea that I was holding onto this car
for no practical value. "I think its maturity", she said. "We all have things
we hold onto like that." Of course, I rationalize keeping the MG -- it doesn't
cost me much, in terms of visible dollars (although the hidden cost of the
weather on the Miata or Jetta is probably real.) I think I keep it because I'm
not willing to accept that I am a failure as an auto mechanic. I know that I
haven't really tried. When I was driving the MG on a daily basis (back in `00),
I did minimal maintenance. I didn't work on the car for the sake of working on
the car, I did it so it could get me from point A to B. I didn't love the car
or the task. My current attempts to start the MG are tiny touches of love. Love
of the dream, of the idea, of the goal, that I can work on a car. That I can
take a car that needs regular maintenance and make it work. The Miata and Jetta
have been gifts to me -- they both have required very little. The MG is a
simple vehicle, without computers, that I have the ability to work with. I
still lack the motivation, however.
